There’s a moment after divorce when the dust settles just enough for you to look around and ask, “Who am I now?”
For many of us, that moment comes right as we tiptoe back into the dating world. You’re carrying new wisdom, a few new scars, and perhaps a shaky sense of trust. And suddenly, boundaries, those things you may have struggled with in your marriage become essential. The truth is, dating after divorce isn’t just about finding someone new, it’s about finding the version of yourself who can choose better, communicate better, and protect your peace. Boundaries are the bridge between the person you were and the person you're becoming.
Why do boundaries feel so different after divorce? A common question I keep getting.
Divorce teaches you things that no book or podcast can. It teaches you what silence can cost, what self-neglect feels like, and that love without boundaries isn’t love, it’s sacrifice and dating without boundaries can be self-destructive. So, when you start dating again remember, you’re not just learning about a new person, you are also re-learning yourself.
Here’s why boundaries matter now more than ever:
You’re healing, not rushing.
You’re allowed to move slowly. Healing has no timeline.
Your emotional energy is precious.
You’re rebuilding, and rebuilding takes power. Protect it.
You’re learning new relational patterns.
Boundaries help you avoid repeating the ones that hurt you.
So, when you take these steps forward and learn what your boundaries are, don’t be afraid to have the strength to cut loose the ones that do not respect them. Maybe open, honest, communication is a must and a non-negotiable (if it’s not, it should be) and in the “getting to know you process” you have openly communicated this with the other person, and it is not being honored, move on. Building something lasting should not take begging. Maybe your not just starting out and you are further on in and finding yourself in a more serious relationship. No matter the timeline hold to those boundaries. If he or she is not wanting or showing you, they are working towards the things that you have expressed you want and/ or need and they are not open to communicating about it, move on.
in conclusion.....
Keep rising, reshaping, and stepping into a version of yourself who refuses to settle for anything less than peace, honestly, and deeply rooted joy. Remember, you can always share your comments or questions below or to my email. sheleftthefog@gmail.com
Have an amazing day!
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