The Worth in the Unknown

Knowing the days in the discomfort of a beautiful home you poured so much love into were coming to a close… it feels surreal. No matter how far along you are in your journey, it’s important to recognize the strength it took to get here. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t peaceful. It was deeply uncomfortable. And yet, you made it through. Some people hesitate and stay not because they want to, but because the steps backward that may be required to move forward feel discouraging, even defeating. Downsizing, leaning on family for support, or just the thought of starting over after giving so much of yourself can feel like a slap in the face when you've invested years of love, labor, and hope into building something you believed in. 

I struggled with those feelings too, I stayed far too long out of fear of what was in front of me. “Am I going to have to rely on my family?” “At my age am I going to find myself back in an apartment?” Silly I know. The days, weeks, and months following the sale of my home and moving out, I was flooded with so many feelings. I missed my home or at least the idea of it. I walked through life at that time in somewhat of a fog. I grieved the loss of the life I thought I had built to last forever. I felt the sting of “starting over” and the ache of wanting to love a space again the way I once did. Who knew a space could hold so much importance?

But then eventually, I realized something; the only thing I truly loved in that house at the end, was my space that I found within it. Confining myself to the guest room or the living room when it was safe, or the patio on the bearable days. The truth is, the home I had built with so much intention had become so toxic in ways I couldn’t fully see while I was still living there. It chipped away at my confidence, made me question my worth and made me believe I somehow deserved the criticism, the emotional abuse, and the living in constant doubt. If I was such a kind, giving person, why did I feel so broken in the one place that was supposed to offer safety and love? I find myself now in this new place, yes its smaller, but wow what a feeling of peace! It gave me the stillness I needed to finally begin to heal. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t surviving I was rebuilding.

And here I am now, no longer looking back or trying to make sense of that past. I’m dreaming again. Planning again. Believing again. And the best part is that what’s coming next feels more meaningful than anything I had to leave behind. Important to remember as you continue to move forward. You control who and what you allow in this new circle you have created. Honor that and be selective. Allow only those that have good intentions, those that make it clear that they value you and where you stand in their lives, those who support your new chapter.

Until October, where we will continue the journey….